| Bah Humbug |
[04 Nov 2008|10:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Trying to get the energy to go out and vote. I'm only voting because I will be LAMBASTED by people I live with if I do not. You all know Maryland is going to Obama, so I don't even need to do anything. THERE I SAID IT!!! Oh yeah and God Bless America that I work at a bank and get today off, sa-weet!
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| More foodstuffs |
[23 Sep 2008|05:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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apathetic |
] |
I had an idea for a website today that chronicles my trips to different restaurants and my opinions on the food served. I blame this on being around a foodie and watching too much Food Network/Travel Channel. There are many places I want to go and check out and it would give me an excuse for something to do. I don't have a clue as to what I would name said website; I need to think of a catchy name.
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| Food Porn |
[22 Sep 2008|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 full |
] |
I'm watching a food porn and food recipe community here on LJ, but I didn't realize people would post in them frequently. Now whenever I look at my friends list, I'm bombarded with images of delicious food. I also wanted to direct your attention to one of my new icons, ANTHONY BOURDAIN, who I would gladly have lots of coitus with.
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| So many years |
[17 Sep 2008|12:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
Sometimes its hard to get away from your past, especially when it's next to you in bed. Time does heal wounds, but it only scabs them until they can be picked open again. I'll be okay in the end, I just have to keep my chin up.
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[02 Sep 2008|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
The me that you know used to have feelings
but the blood has stopped pumping and he's left to decay
the me that you know is now made up of wires
and even when I'm right with you I'm so far away
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| Look at me |
[01 Sep 2008|09:46am] |
Lots of activity in my life lately, the way I prefer it to be. Went to NYC briefly to see King Crimson in concert, which was good. Started school, less than thrilling. Saw Nine Inch Nails in concert and it was amazing. I can wear shorts again although summer is almost over. I have my eye on some knee high boots that I want to rock out with my cock out. Went to ye olde RenFaire to eat some sausage on a stick and dress up as little Red riding hood. I bought a "deviled ham" glass figurine while there and got to do some archery. The activities don't end there, though, as I still have a LOT of stuff coming up. Next weekend I'm going to the Aquarium, and then the following weekend I am going to NYC to celebrate my birthday. Then of course, my birthday, in which I turn an unimpressive 22. As soon as I get back from New York, I'm off to Seattle for a week. That trip will be a bit more interesting just because I'm going to visit the...first ex-boyfriend. That's a whole other journal post in itself. This trip is not for romantical affairs if that is what you're thinking, it's just for me to visit and get some of my personal belongings he still has.
I've just been living life slowly getting back to a norm.
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| An update |
[11 Aug 2008|08:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
As I like to point out, I don't usually use this journal to post entries about my life, but instead use it to read about the lives of others. Well here's my annual what's going on with me post as I'm bored and I feel that I should update this once in a blue moon. I'll do it in my own way of course, with just short snippets of information.
I got sick again. I spent a lot of time in the hospital. I had tubes hooked up to me in places I never imagined. I had fluid taken out of me, filtered, and put back in. I almost went crazy in the hospital and thought I would never get to leave. I emerged from the hospital with a new outlook on life. I was happier when I got better. It was like a pair of rosey colored sunglasses had been placed on my head. Things were looking up after they had gotten so awful.
Then I almost died.
My leg was on fire. I was on fire, with a 103 degree fever. I had to be taken away in an ambulance to a hospital I had never been in before and put in the ICU. My blood pressure was 93/0. I was in and out of consciousness. Everyone around me was talking but I couldn't understand. I was being poked and prodded but didn't feel anything. People around me were crying and I didn't know why. They didn't tell me I could have died until after I turned around and pulled through. They said I had gone septic from an infection in my leg and had I waited any longer I might not have made it. After spending some more time in the hospital, I left this time with the glasses taken off.
I'm getting better again, but I can't help but to be cautiously pessimistic about my health. I just hope nothing else happens to me for the next while and I can continue on my path of being close to "normal".
In the span of all these events, I have definitely changed as a person. I've learned to let certain things go and not care about other things. I still have some skeletons in my closet that I would like to let loose, but can't due to the possible consequences of the information being released. I don't like pretending but it's for the best right now. I know people won't understand when all is said and done, and it will make me sad because life is short and people shouldn't get hung up over things that don't hurt them in any way.
I'm starting school again at the end of the month. I really need to get my education in line. I'm still working at the bank and that's going well. I have a lot of fun activities planned to look forward to, like going to New York City a bunch of times, the RenFaire (in which I will be dressing up), going to the aquarium, my birthday, going to Seattle, and the Baltimore Comicon. Just trying to be normal.
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| Sick at home and bored |
[28 May 2008|10:21am] |
A MEME STOLEN FROM MANY PEOPLE!
1] Have you ever showered with someone?
Oh yes
2] Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
Yes, not as much as I used to, though
3] Strawberry Milkshake or Banana Pancakes?
I would like strawberry pancakes...but I guess to answer this, the milkshake
4] Last movie you saw in theaters, with who?
Iron Man, for a second time with Brian and Julie
5] Burger King or Wendy's?
Burger King
6] What time is it?
10:28 am
7] Where are you right now?
On a couch
8] What are you doing right now?
Watching Cash Cab and wishing I could go to New York
9] Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
Tokyo so I could get cool stuff...and panties (no, not really)
10] Are you listening to music right now?
No, but I'm being Rick Roll'd in my head
11] Who else is in the room with you?
Wouldn't you like to know?
12] In the winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie?
Uh if it's really cold I hope I'd have something heavy
13] Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
I almost wish I were at work so it would mean I was normal and not sick at the moment
14] How long can you go without your mobile phone?
For a little while, but then I'd get stalked by my Dad because he flips out if I don't call him after the first time he contacts me...
15] Ever kissed a dark haired, dark eyed person?
Oh yes
16] Who last called you babe/baby?
Haha, I get called "baby doll"
17] Where did you last sleep other than your house?
In a shitty hotel in fucking Dover, DE
18] What’s the worst way to say I love you?
That's an odd question...I guess after you've said you didn't want to be with me anymore and you've broken my heart, then saying "I love you" doesn't really matter
19] If an ex said they hated you, you'd say?
I'd tell them to fuck off
20] Would you curse in front of your parents?
I try not to out of respect
21] What is your current annoyance?
The fact that I'm having a relapse health-wise and I would much rather be healthy...
22] Do you like drama?
Sometimes if I'm bored, and also if I'm in the right
23] How many pills do you take a day?
Depends on how sick I am, right now I'm taking a shitload.
24] What was the last item you bought?
Something at the beach this past Memorial Day
25] Are you afraid of roller coasters?
Yes, I'm a wuss, I'm sorry
26] What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving?
Chances are if it's certain best friends, I'd move with them
27] Apple Bottom Jeans or Hollister gift card?
What the hell are apple bottom jeans?!
28] What is your school mascot?
I had to google it because I forgot, it was a Gator
29] At what age do you want to be married?
I never want to be married, so never
30] Where is your mom right now?
No clue
31] What are you supposed to be doing right now?
I should be at work, but relapsing has prevented that.
32] Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
Probably, I always drift away
33] When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
I usually feel guilty over something, but I can't remember a specific at the moment
34] When was the last time you held someone's hand?
Today, this morning
36] Who was the last person you talked to on aim?
Not sure, I don't really get on anymore
37] Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a G?
Yes
38] Can you play guitar hero?
Yeah!
39] Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
I prefer cooler
40] What do you currently hear right now?
The TV
41] What does your last text say?
My phone isn't near me, so I don't remember
42] Do you text message often?
Pretty often, yes
43] Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Of course!
44] Where is your second home?
At Brian and Julie's place, haha
45] What is the nearest book to you called?
A travel guide for Ireland and Britain, I'm hoping to go next year!
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| Random |
[02 May 2008|06:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
Hmm, sushi and sake would be good right about now. Yes!
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| There she goes |
[06 Apr 2008|03:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lethargic |
] |
Ah, an update. By the time I make one of these I have so much stuff to talk about. I guess it's better that way so my entries are never (entirely) boring.
From the Job front: My new job has been going well. When I first started I was very nervous and scared about everything. It seemed difficult and that I would never memorize all the procedures and codes we have to use. They had told me I would look back after two weeks and ask myself why I ever thought it would be hard. Turns out they were right. I've been doing it for about two weeks now, and it's very simple. I have to deal with larger sums of money, but really it's very similar to what I was doing at Barnes and Noble. I'm still working there as I said I would. It seems that I will be working about 2 nights a week. Our store manager also made it so that I could keep being a Head Cashier, so I will keep the same amount of pay. I thought that was very nice. Be that as it may, I won't be able to do it forever. I do plan on going back to school this autumn, and if I do that, it's bye bye B&N for good. I couldn't work 2 jobs AND go to school part time, I would go crazy.
From the Health front: To my knowledge, I'm still doing well health-wise. This Wednesday I have to go to the hospital for one of my scheduled treatments. I'm not looking forward to it as I've gotten used to the idea of not going every month and instead only going every two months. I know I have to do it and it's just another reminder that I'm still not completely normal. Not having to go every month made it easier for me to forget something was wrong with me.
From the Friends front: It seems like I haven't been doing a lot lately and that saddens me. With the warmer weather coming up, I hope there will be more activities for all of us to do. I did do some stuff recently, though. Yesterday I went to Emma's for her friend Katie's birthday party. It was Alice in Wonderland themed, with Katie dressed up as Alice. Emma wore a pretty green dress, Jezika wore a queen of hearts type outfit, and Heather was the White Rabbit. Emma showed me the dress she made for me for Fairyfest and I tried it on. It was really nice. It made me wish that I knew how to sew and make clothing, because I would love to design my own outfits. I'm crafty, but I don't think I have the patience or skill to do that. Brian wore his viking helmet and had his hammer, which was passed around to everyone. Even Harry Potter, or should I say Ryan, was there. We all groped each other inappropriately as is wont to happen at Emma's. Good times had by all. Tonight is Steph's birthday party, and I'm going over Emma's shortly so we can go together.
From the Random events front: Two non-related things happened recently that I had never done. Remember awhile ago I said I wanted to do a psychic reading? Well, I went to the place Mystikal Voyage (yes, with a K) and saw about speaking with a clairvoyant woman. I set up an appointment on Easter (ha!) and had a reading. I was kind of flabbergasted and didn't really know what to expect or ask. The general details she gave me were that I would have a child at 25, and it would be a girl. Uhhhh, I don't want kids!!! That's only 3 years from now! She said that she didn't think I had Lupus, which she emphasized not once, but three times. She said it was autoimmune related, but not that. Hmmm. She said that I would live to be 87, that my Dad might have a stroke at 56, um, and that I should go back to school and she could see me being a law accountant or some type of CPA. Do I think anything she said was true? No idea. Was it interesting? Very.
The other event happened courtesy of Mandy and Julia, my old receiving friends from B&N. They had visited me while I was still working full-time at the store weeks ago. We were talking about strip clubs since people from work had gone that night, and they said we should all go to one. I was very excited by the idea because ever since I turned 21, I've wanted to go! They told me when they came back from their trip they would show me a good time at the Hustler club. Well, they came back and kept their promise. We went on a Friday night and they even got a hotel room so we could have somewhere to sleep after being drunk. We all dressed up and went to Baltimore Street...haha! The strip club was very nice, very upscale. It felt surreal going in there, almost like I was in a movie. There were real live naked women! I'm around my naked self all the time, but here there were tons of girls naked. They bought a whole bottle of vodka for us to drink and tons of dollar bills. It was an interesting experience to throw money at naked women. They all had a similar smell too. Perhaps cheap thrills and money plus sex? To me it smelled like powder. I also got two lap dances from two different strippers. That was another experience in of itself. Having random women grind on me, yeah. Unfortunately, I didn't think any of the strippers were knockouts, but I'm kind of particular when it comes to women and looks. We stayed until the club closed, headed back to the hotel, and went to sleep. I thought it was really nice of them to spend all that money on me.
From the Things to Look Forward to front: Most immediately, as in a matter of a week and a half of so, I will be going to New York City again. I will be going to the comicon they have there. I am very excited about it because there are a lot of great people going to be there, including Neil Gaiman! The only thing that is not cool about that is I don’t think he will be signing things for everyone, only for people who sign up for a special (very expensive) package to get to meet him personally. I will just be seeing him speak about things in a Q&A type environment.
So those are just a few things from me at the moment.
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| Feels right this time |
[08 Mar 2008|02:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Metallica, "No Leaf Clover" |
] |
I haven't made a real entry in awhile, so I figured it was time for one rather than little angsty snippets.
I've gotten a new full time job. Many of you already know, but I will now be working as a bank teller full time. Why did I decide to get a new job? Well, a plethora of reasons really. I was getting tired of doing the head cashier thing at B&N. I could be making more money doing almost the same things somewhere else. There have been a lot of things changing at the store, things I'm not really happy about, which amount to me never really looking forward to any kind of promotion.
I'm really horrible when it comes to job changes. Even if I'm unhappy somewhere, or at least mildly unhappy, I never do anything about my situation unless it gets unbearable. The main reason why I did this was because of outside forces urging me to look for work elsewhere and helping me with the process. I'm glad I listened in the end because I was able to find a job that is better paying with better hours, which I never thought I could do.(for some reason, I don't know, haha) I'm working for a credit union in Towson, one that is for people who are employees of Baltimore County. That would be teachers, cops, etc, etc. I'm really nervous because I have to learn everything and start new. I've been doing the Head Cashier thing at B&N for a year, but I've been at the store for almost 3 years, so I know everything in and out by heart. At the bank, I have to start from the bottom again and work my way up. I always have confidence issues, so I hope I don't let them get in my way too much. I was also nervous because changing jobs means changing benefits and situations. B&N was always pretty understanding of my illness and condition, not to mention I had health insurance. The good thing is that my health is tremendously better, but at some point I'll have to tell my new job about my situation if I have to miss time for appointments. My new job does have health insurance benefits and luckily they kick in only 30 days after working there!
All in all, it's a move for the better. I will also not be leaving B&N completely, but switching to part time. I just wonder if I'll even work there because they've cut hours for everyone so drastically that I question if I'll even have anytime. That's fine by me really, but I'm just curious as to what it will be like. Tonight is my last time closing as a Head Cashier and it feels bittersweet. I'm going to miss seeing the faces of everyone on a daily basis and sharing in the trials and tribulations at that store.
In other news, I'm looking forward to the upcoming months because I have a lot of stuff planned. In April, I'm going to New York City again! Hopefully this trip will be better than my last, which I'm sure it will be. I'll be going to their comic con, and I'll see a lot of good people! I also have some cool concerts coming up too, like The Cure! OH MY GOTH! I hope Robert Smith does not wear the makeup though, he's FAT AND OLD!!! Whenever the warmer weather comes, I always feel like I am awakening again. I look forward to a lot of good times coming up.
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| Ho hum |
[24 Jan 2008|01:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
U2, "New Years Day" |
] |
I haven't made a post in awhile, so I will post a few short blurbs about stuff.
-First of all, HEATH LEDGER!!! I was never a zealous fan of his, but I thought he was good in what I've seen him in. When I heard he died it was such a shock that I didn't believe it. I really thought the internet was lying or it was a rumor of some sorts. When confirmed to be true, it made me really sad. Someone so young who had so much potential, it sucks ass. I'm sure he will be amazing in The Dark Knight and he would have had a lot of success afterwards, but it was all taken away. I keep forgetting that he died. When I hear someone mention it on the news or in passing conversation, I immediately get sad again.
-Work has been kind of blah lately. Nothing bad happened, it's just now that the holidays are over, it's SO SLOW. I have to be chained to the cash registers for most, if not all, of my shifts, and after a certain point I've done everything I can do. I wish I could be doing something more or something different.
-I will be going to North Carolina this year with my SDO friends. This is a big deal because the last time I went with them was when I developed Lupus. I was so miserable on that trip because I spent almost every moment in bed or in the bathroom. I'm hoping this year that things will be better and I can actually ENJOY my time. It will be different because I won't have Rob with me like I did then and I'll be alone. I'm looking forward to it though, and it'll be around my birthday.
-I don't know if I mentioned it before on here, but I got a new car and I love it. It's the type of car I've always wanted, a Volkswagen! It's a 2003 Golf, to be exact. It's a pretty dark blue color and it has a sunroof, something I've also always wanted. My Dad put it under his name and insurance so I could have something better as part of my Christmas present. He pays the insurance on it, and I give him money for the car payment. I'm very happy and glad he was so nice to do that. I am giving my old car to Heather so hopefully she'll take care of "Rusty" well.
-Speaking of Heather, her birthday is tonight, so I get to go hang out with peoples from work, which is always fun. Then Tina's birthday thing is this Saturday at Dave and Busters, which should also be fun. I've never been there, so I hope it's as cool as I imagine it to be!
I don't know if I have much else to say at the moment, so I'll stop here.
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[02 Jan 2008|09:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
Some friends and I were discussing love the other day, and we came to this very true conclusion: Girls will always have a thing with their first love, guys are forever lamenting/having hangups about their "psycho ex".
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[02 Jan 2008|12:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
listless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Smiths, "How Soon is Now?" |
] |
Have you ever had a hard time picking out a song for someone to be their ringtone? I'm having that quandary at the moment.
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| Ho Hum |
[30 Dec 2007|02:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Depeche Mode - Stripped |
] |
For a lark, I've decided I want to have a psychic reading done. Do I believe in such things? Not really, I'd just like to do it for entertainment. The trouble is I'm not sure how to go about looking for one. I think I've seen places along the road here and there, but never paid much attention to them.
Also, I've got a tattoo picked out that I want to get. The spot I want it in might be somewhat painful though. I'm waiting until the holidays are completely over (New Years...) and then I'm going to look into pricing. It's nothing major, but still cool to me.
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| Let the good times roll in case God doesn't show |
[26 Dec 2007|04:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indescribable |
] |
Ahh, so much stuff has happened since I last wrote! For now, I will just say that things are CRAZY and I've been living my life to its fullest in such the last time I wrote you. I'm excited for the start of a new year and for things to come...
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| We are victims when we are alone |
[17 Dec 2007|11:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Calabrese, "Voices of the Dead" |
] |
Before I start my entry, I would like to say that I just watched the trailer that Justin linked for The Dark Knight, and HOLY SHIT I JUST CREAMED MY GEEK LOINS. That movie is going to be AWESOME, it can't come sooner! I had my doubts with Heath Ledger as the Joker, but it looks like he is going to do great with the role.
Anyway, here is my real entry, with more cuts than an emo kids' wrist!
( Wednesday morning papers didn't come )
( Friday night arrives without a suitcase )
( Saturday is the only day of the week not mentioned in Lady Madonna )
( Sunday morning creep in like a nun )
So that was my week in review basically. I have another busy week coming up. Today I have off and have no plans, which is really the only day I have nothing going on. I have some movies I can be watching from Netflix, as well as some gift wrapping to do. I also have to bust ass on a knitting project I recently started as it was going to be part of a gift! I finished my one knitted project last week, but I'm not so happy with the results. It was my first time doing something, and I wasn't following the technique to a T as I didn't understand the original way. I'm debating on if I want to give it to the giftee, but we'll see. Here are my plans for the rest of the week: Tuesday I work during the day, then later on I'm going to another crazy psychobilly show with Jon at the Ottobar for more bands I've never heard of. Wednesday I have off of work, but I'm going to be hanging out with Matt at some point to give him his Christmas gifts. Gasp and shock that I actually get to have some of his time! Thursday I work during the day, then afterward is the big gift exchange for all of us which I am very excited about! Friday I have to close at work, and I think during the day I will be looking at cars with my Dad. Past that, I just get to deal with the craziness of the looming holiday!
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| Tis the season |
[11 Dec 2007|03:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
AFI, "Fall Children" |
] |
Bye bye credit! I knew getting that new credit card would be a bad idea, especially before Christmas. Actually, I'm haven't spent too much money on it, but I'm definitely pulling the plug on any more spending for now. Since I got the new credit card, my old credit card decided to up my limit as well, so I had even MORE money to work with. It's like they want me to go into debt!
The upside to the whole situation is that I'm not spending the money on myself but on other people for presents. I have been able to get everyone the things I had in mind for them. I hope people like the stuff I'm getting them. I always have a fear in my mind that whatever I get is going to be dumb and they will hate it, haha.
I went to work for a bit today and then had to leave early to go to my doctor appointment. I was in there FOREVER because they are always seeming to be behind. The other mildly frustrating thing was that even though I seem to be getting better, some of my numbers and tests weren't improving much. It might have been because my doctor cut down my dose of medicine last time prematurely. What a ditz. So when I go tomorrow for my treatment (ugh, not looking forward to sitting in the hospital for 8 hours, by the way) they will be giving me more instead of less. Sometimes my doctor can be dumb about stuff. I'm a bit annoyed that when I finally get a day off it has to be spent getting up early anyway and going to get medicine. At least it's only once a month, but geez.
Let's see, some other things that have been going on...I've been knitting like a maniac. I have two projects I'm working on for Christmas presents for people. One project I am 85% done, I'm just slacking and need to finish the damn thing. It's a pair of gloves and I have one glove finished, I just need to finish up the fingers on the second one. The other project I just started and need to fine tune a bit. There was another thing I wanted to knit, but it's going to have to wait. I wish I had more sets of hands, wouldn't that be awesome?
This past Friday, I saw the Golden Compass with Jon. I took him into work and he got to meet some of the co-workers, those crazy people I love. He told me it must be nice to "stand around and get paid for talking". But it was slow, and no one was there, and I wasn't the one working, so nyah. The movie itself I did enjoy. The only complaints I have are that it seemed like I was missing something through most of the movie. It felt like I was thrown in the middle of a story that was already happening, and I was somehow missing details. Then the ending was a setup for the other movies/books, so now I'm left wondering what's going to happen! I could read the books, but I do not have the time I'm afraid. At least, not at the moment. Jon kept saying the movie was a big Coke ad with the polar bears and also called it "Lord of the Golden Compass" due to a lot of people from Lord of the Rings being involved with the movie.
Work has been hella (yes, I said hella) busy as of late, so now the season is really starting. Luckily, I have had no snarky customers yet and most of the weekend went smoothly. Time actually goes by quicker when it's constant lines and I'm busy. I just feel like a robot (more so than usual!) saying the same phrases over and over..."Do you have the member card to save X percent?" "Do you need gift receipts?", "Would you like to donate a book to needy children?". Oh well.
I think that's all for now, I may be forgetting some stuff, but I'll just make an entry another day.
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